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Mac: Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me!
Mac: Yeah man, she got naked... she came on to me. I mean, that woman is straight crazy, but I think I wanna bang her, man. I know I shouldn't do it...
Charlie: I think you should do it!
Charlie: Look, an opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime right?
Charlie: And so you'd be a fool to let it slip through your fingers.
Mac: Yeah! That's what I'm thinking! But... it's Dennis' and Dee's Mom...
Charlie: Well that means that no one ever ever is going to find out.
Mac: That doesn't make any sense...
Charlie: It doesn't have to make sense!
Mac: You're right! I'm gonna do it!
- Permalink: Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me! Interesting... Yeah m...
I'm going to stab him. I'm going to stab his face off!Waitress
- Permalink: I'm going to stab him. I'm going to stab his face off!
Dee: I am not having sex with you, Charlie.
Charlie: No, it's not sex I want from you. It's sex I don't want from Dennis!
- Permalink: I am not having sex with you, Charlie. No, it's not sex I want...
Dennis: [after witnessing Mac kiss his Mom at her front door] Oh my God! Ohhh...
Charlie: Yeah... that's a terrible thing... a terrible thing for you to see that.
Dennis: I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him!
Charlie: Wait wait wait! What are you gonna do? Punch him in the face? Throw him? Maybe work the body a little?
Dennis: I was gonna...
Charlie: No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
- Permalink: I'm going to kill him! Wait, wait, wait. What are you going to...