Popular Louie Quotes
That's young nervous penis. When you're 24 and single, your penis is like the young, nervous guy in the World War II movie in the foxhole. Any sound your penis hears, it's like, 'WHAT WAS THAT?!? LET'S GO! LET'S GO LET'S GO! I'm married in my 50s. My penis is relaxed. My penis is sitting in the chair, smoking a pipe, reading the paper. My penis is like Bing Crosby. It hears a noise it's like 'I think I heard a noise, could be a hand, could be a vagina, bub bub bub.
Alan
Intimate? Me sucking your dick isn't intimate?
Lori
You know how many dicks I sucked that I didn't want to suck? Because I'm a good kid. Because I do what's right. I never left anyone hanging how dare you?
Lori
Your sperms are dying inside my mouth right now. Goddamit! Where are the gentlemen? What is wrong with our country?
Lori
I know it's not popular to say, but I hate balloons.
This is bullshit.
Louie [Upon seeing yet another hot woman strut by on the beach]
Say what you don't know and learn everything.
Louie [translating Ramon's Spanish]
You just ate a strawberry that you can't have.
Louie [after a hot blonde asks for a strawberry and eats it without waiting for a reply]
It's kind of like the people who live up there. Some of them have been living there their whole lives and have never seen where they live. Then you look up there and see them on their balconies and they're alone and you kind of feel sorry for them because they're alone you know.
Ramon
"You have to examine yourself once in a while, you can't just say, 'I voted for Obama, I can't be prejudice, it's impossible.'
Like I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson. I don't know her. I never met her or saw her in person. But I just know. Come on. I just know that would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And the worst thing to ever happen to her. I don't even jerk off to her - that's how much I like her.
This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and my dad hung himself in front of me, while masturbating.
Ben
