Marry Me
Tuesdays 9:00 PM on NBCMarry Me Quotes
Kevin 1: You really don't think things will change?
Jake: Look man if they do, it's only going to be for the better. Personally, it was the best decision I've ever made. That and my new part [hair]. You know I switched sides.
Kevin 1: Yeah I know. I've been tracking that. It's way better.
Jake: I wish we were just allowed to say white Kevin and black Kevin. Are we?
Kay: No.
Jake: Racism.
Kevin 2: I can not believe you would commit to a death machine, but you're not willing to commit to me.
Kevin 1: Oh here we go again.
Kevin 2: Yeah here we go again.
Jake: Wait, where are we going? I don't want to go. Let's stay here. Hang out. Be cool. Chill.
Annie: Okay, what are some other things the Flemish are known for?
Gil: Well, we were one of the first people to cave to the Germans in World War I before everyone was doing it in World War II.
You have to try the pancakes. You will be blown away by how terrible they are.
Jake
Gil: I am 120% Flemish.
Jake: 120?
Gil: We had a little bit of inbreeding going on.
Annie: Why are you proud of that?
Gil: Well, it's nice to have a family that gets along.
The war between wife and mother-in-law is a tale as old as Everybody Loves Raymond.
Annie
Fred: You know I don't throw this word around a lot, mainly because it's a little silly, but you are what we in the cheese community like to call a prodi-cheese.
Gil: Wow, that's the first compliment I've gotten in eleven weeks.
Kay: You're taking American cheese singles to a holiday dinner party? Was the last Thanksgiving you went to hosted by a Garbage Pail Kid?
Gil: Ha ha, you're hilarious Kay, but you know you're not supposed to encourage my beliefs that the Garbage Pail Kids are real.
Kay: God, talking to you is not great.
Jake, please. I really want to host this like Norman Rockwell-esque Thanksgiving where I come out and I'm holding the turkey like this and everyone's like, "Oh my god how does she do it? She makes it look so easy. She's like Jackie O meets Murphy Brown with Jennifer Aniston's arms."
Annie
Gil: Hey, thanks for defending me back there.
Dennah: Don't mention it my lord. I mean seriously, don't mention that we kissed or I'll (bleeping) destroy you.
Gil: My lips are sealed, but still tingling.
(To Liam after he falls) Easy Mr. Bean. We get it, you're British.
Kay
