You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!

Jess

• Permalink: You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friends...
• Added: April 09, 2013

Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?
Ladies: No!

• Permalink: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about th...
• Added: April 09, 2013

I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.

Jess

• Permalink: I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, a...
• Added: April 09, 2013

I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Milano's phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Mi...
• Added: April 09, 2013

Shivrang's Aunt: Who is this?
Schmidt: I'm Gerard Depardieu. Who do you think I am, lady? I'm Schmidt.

• Permalink: Who is this? I'm Gerard Depardieu. Who do you think I am, lady...
• Added: April 09, 2013

Please take that off, you look like a homeless pencil.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Please take that off, you look like a homeless pencil.
• Added: April 09, 2013