New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXNew Girl Season 4 Episode 2: "Dice" Quotes
Officer, can I read you your rights? You have the right to remain hugged. And you have the right to remain sweet.
Coach
Jess: Are you insane, Schmidt? I'm not ready. That's like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!
Schmidt: If you are for one second suggesting that I don't know how to open a musical, how dare you!
The point of dating is just... to keep on dating and then never stop—like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.
Schmidt
Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?
Schmidt
Over the next 1,000 minutes, your notions of dating will be challenged. ... If you're saying things like 'Dreamy Eyes' to my face, then we have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically.
Schmidt
If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.
Schmidt
Now, I'm gonna go do a deep-ass mouthwash.
Schmidt
He looked nice in the picture! The frame cut off the bottom of his beard, so how was I to know it was braided into a beardy-tail? He asked me to the food court near his house; I thought that was down-to-earth, and I like that. He didn't bring any money, so we had to go back to his apartment, and also he wanted to show me some of his old baby clothes.
Jess
"Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba."
Jess
I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.
Jess
Them's joint bank account eyes.
Jess
Where did all that hair come from? You're a lioness!
Schmidt
