I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I thought I'd be dead before that happened.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I tho...
• Added: November 27, 2012

Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!

• Permalink: You care about burritos more than my children? You're putting ...
• Added: November 27, 2012

Schmidt: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups?
Melissa: Why would you even ask that?
Schmidt: I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag, excitement.

• Permalink: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups? Why would you eve...
• Added: November 27, 2012

You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.

Schmidt

• Permalink: You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius...
• Added: November 27, 2012

I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought m...
• Added: November 27, 2012

Melissa: I'm 32 by my eggs are 48 and my vagina is 97.
Sadie: And it gets better with age. It's like the vagina Helen Mirin.

• Permalink: I'm 32 by my eggs are 48 and my vagina is 97. And it gets bett...
• Added: November 27, 2012

What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?

Nick

• Permalink: What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Y...
• Added: November 27, 2012

Jess: What's the secret?
Sadie: It's about love, understanding and two sets of boobs!

• Permalink: What's the secret? It's about love, understanding and two sets...
• Added: November 27, 2012