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New-girl

Nick: What the hell are you doing?
Coach: Making island beats.

Are you a do-er, or a dumpling-er?

Coach

The internet said I had to stay off my feet. But then I found this wheelchair in a ditch, so...I'm ready to work out!

Winston

Did I leave my Oakland Raiders yarmulke over there?

Schmidt

Peanuts is an acronym! It stands for "Physical Education Activity...Nuts!"

Coach

Are you okay to drive? You've got crazy eyes!

Nick

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

Coach: His jeans are so small.
Nick: Looks like a puppet, like something an Italian whittled

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