One time I went to Russia and I thought I was having an allergic reaction to the water. Turns out I was drinking Vodka.

Katie

You are not supposed to be saying ouch.

George [to Jim]

Everyone named Jack has been sent to the emergency room, maybe next time it'll be the morgue.

Jim

He's a dash of Edward, with a smidge of Wolverine.

Katie

Jock lets nerd on football team and nerd lets jock cheat off of him. What an adorable Breakfast Club you two have going on.

Mr. Litchfield

George: You know it could be performance problems.
Stephanie: The only thing ruining his performance is you.

What's it gonna be man? Nookie or the crookie?

George
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