Coop: You're right up her alley.
Eddie: Newsflash: I'm up a lot of girls' alleys.
Coop: Did that come out wrong?

Coop: Surgery is gonna be a breeze.
Jackie: Do not make promises you cannot keep.

Jackie: Shouldn't you be peeing in a cup somewhere?
Sam: Shouldn't you?

I'm assessing your performances. And I'm not doing it in private.

Akalitus

You're a fucking bartender! You have no idea what it feels like to be me.

Stop checking things off your list. I'm not something that gets done.

Kevin

I need some time to figure out if you're the love of my life or a pathological liar.

Do you have time to listen to me talk about boys and not judge?

Thor

If I can't find 19-gauge needles when we need them, we are screwed!

Zoey

It's like I can't see gayness or something. It's so annoying.

Zoey

Akalitus: You know, Dr. O'Hara is from Britain.
O'Hara: Yes, I'm from the whole of Britain.

Thor: Are you praying?
Zoey: No. Why?
Thor: Because your lips are moving and you're holding a cross.

Nurse Jackie Season 2 Quotes

God: You know, when I hit my head, I've seen something.
Zoey: Like what? Like a bottle was throwing at you?

Dr. O'Hara: (talking about the picture of the raccoon head Fiona sent her) Really gruesome.
Jackie: I don't know why she wanted to send it or why you like it, but there you have it.
Dr. O'Hara: Kindred spirits, Jacks.