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Parks-and-recreation

Jerry: Mine just says "get well soon."
Leslie: Aren't you sick?
Jerry: No.
Leslie: ...something's off.

Leslie: "The Time Travelers Optometrist" by Pawnee's own Penelope Foster. A heart-warming story about a caveman eye doctor who travels to present day Cincinnati and can see everything but love. Unreadable. Then Joan slaps her sticker on it: bestseller four years in a row.

At the risk bragging one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me smiling and taking partial credit.

Tom

Ron: Anyone find any mistakes?
April: Yeah, actually, in here it says that Pawnee is great, but in reality it's terrible.

Leslie: I have to tell you this feels like Gotcha journalism.
Joan: In what way?
Leslie: That way [points to a picture] you put "Gotcha" on my face.

Tom: Ben, Leslie hired my company to get her that sticker. You're the one that told me businesses need "clients" to get "money."
Ben: I was the first one to tell you that?

I am back where I came from!

Leslie

Is she gonna powder her vagina?

Ben

I'm from Eagleton.

Leslie
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