Ben Wyatt was the best thing that came out of this crap town.

Leslie

I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.

April

Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.

May I say for the record that is a dope pocket square?

Tom

His nickname around the office is Softypants McHuggable.

April

Wanna have a baby, Traeger? Your hair, my everything else. That baby would be unstoppable.

Donna

Chris: Last year I won an organic gardening contest.
Donna: Who were you competing against?
Chris: My own taste buds.

Ben: I can't believe they're finally giving me the key to the city.
Leslie: I can't believe it took so long. They gave the key to every other mayor in the city. And none of them had as cute a butt as you.

I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.

Ron

We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turd burger.

April

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 17 Quotes

I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.

Ron

We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turd burger.

April