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Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.

Sir? This is a childrens slide. You're not allowed to sleep here.

Leslie Knope

These people are members of the community that care about where they live. So what hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring ... loudly at me.

Leslie Knope

Well, if you want something done in this town, you call Mark Brendanawicz because he's a city planner, but he's more than that. He's kind of a fixer. He fixes things. He's a smart, capable guy. He just .... he knows where the bodies are buried.

Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: So this was built in 1935. It's called Pioneer Hall. And a little trivia: it is one of the first structures in America to ever have locks.

This is my basketball court. I don't want to see any double dribbles. I don't want to see any three second violations.

Ron Swanson

This is where the rubber of government meets the road of actual human beings.

Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Dream with me for a second, Ann: doesn't this neighborhood deserve a first class park? Imagine a shiny new playground with a jungle gym; and swings; pool; tennis courts; volleyball courts; raquetball courts; basketball courts; regulation football field; we can put an ampitheater with 'Shakespeare in the Park'...
Ann Perkins: It's really not that big of a pit.
Leslie Knope: We can do some of those things.

(singing while drunk) Soul Sister, Soul Sister, better get that dough sister! Sweet Lady Marmalarde.

Leslie Knope

Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy. In her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.

Tom Haverford

This could be my Hoover Dam.

Leslie
Displaying all 11 quotes

Parks and Recreation Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Every now and then, we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time, I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll Up. She, one time, made out with the water delivery guy. In her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl; Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.

Tom Haverford

This could be my Hoover Dam.

Leslie
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