Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.

Leslie: I really made love to the pooch on this one.
Ron: Screwed the pooch?
Leslie: I don't like that term. It's too vulgar.

I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy. It was really hard. Their mouths are so old.

April

You really shouldn't be leading us. If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears.

Clarence

Tom: We need to do something to distract from this... boring area. Now I didn't want to have to do this but we may have to go nude.
Ann: Goodbye, Tom.

Tom: In a million years, I never thought you'd be the problem with this photo shoot.
Ann: Didn't you just plan this like two hours ago?

Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken, I can give you Ann's phone number.

Tom

Tom: Come on, Ann, what are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
Ann: I'm not sure which one is the insult.

I don't think that's a good idea. Women need a lot of blood to flow through to their baby centers, which leaves less to the brain, you see?

Clarence

Leslie: Well, don't be such a baby. I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.
Ron: I ate it already.
Leslie: What?
Ron: I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. And now it's gone and I hate everything.

I love parks. I don't know if that's something I've communicated before. So, having a picnic with all the former living parks department directors? Guess who just checked something off her bucket list!

Leslie

It's the biggest catalog of the year. Think of the September issue of Vogue, but it's more important to Pawnee. Mainly because we don't get Vogue here.

Leslie

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 20 Quotes

Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?

April

An animal on the head, a manimal in the bed.

Tom