I'm paying April fifty bucks to watch my house while I'm away. I would have asked Leslie but I've seen the way she takes care of her house.

Ann

Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.

Donna: I'll take it.
Ann: Donna, there's a camera in it.
Donna: I know.

Ann: OK, this is one of those nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
Tom: What? No, it's a regular camera-less teddy bear. Just put it in your bedroom. Don't even think about it.

Tom: Happy belated Valentine's Day.
Ann: Valentine's Day was a month ago. Why are you giving it to me now?
Tom: Whatever. Happy early Valentine's Day.

Leslie: Possum, there was a possum. We captured a possum and we brought it into your house and it got out and it might have laid eggs in your bed.
Ann: What?
Leslie: And it went into your laundry and your kitchen and it touched all your bras. And I'm so sorry, it's our fault we captured it and it got out and it ran around and it was a possum, OK? April, run, April. Sorry, Ann. I love you!

Andy: We're acting under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog.
Leslie: Office.

Coffee is my favorite non-alcoholic hot drink, except for hot tea. And hot orange juice. Weirdly delicious.

Andy

It's a robot bear! It's programmed to snuggle.

Tom

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 18 Quotes

Coffee is my favorite non-alcoholic hot drink, except for hot tea. And hot orange juice. Weirdly delicious.

Andy

It's a robot bear! It's programmed to snuggle.

Tom