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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.

Leslie: Ma'am, the next we speak, we shall be dancing on the grave of a possum.
Evelyn: Great.

Evelyn: Let's be honest. Animal control is not the most effective branch of our government.
Leslie: They're a bunch of burned-out morons.

Fairway Frank is this awful possum who lives near the sixth hole of the public golf course. And he's actually number three on the Parks Department's most wanted pest list, right behind the bats who like to poop on the bell tower and Poopy, the raccoon who poops all over the high school cafeteria.

Leslie

Leslie: Oh, hello! I've always dreamed of you.
Evelyn: Excuse me?
Leslie: Meeting you.

I'm paying April fifty bucks to watch my house while I'm away. I would have asked Leslie but I've seen the way she takes care of her house.

Ann

Ann: Here are the keys. And remember...
April: I know. Don't let Tom make a copy.

Donna: I'll take it.
Ann: Donna, there's a camera in it.
Donna: I know.

Ann: OK, this is one of those nanny cam teddy bears, isn't it?
Tom: What? No, it's a regular camera-less teddy bear. Just put it in your bedroom. Don't even think about it.

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