Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 3 Episode 2: "Flu Season"

Andy: Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Ann's my doctor. And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Leslie: I took a Claritin and I threw that up. So I took another one. I threw that up. And then I took a third and it stayed down. I'm getting better.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Do I have to tuck my shirt in? Because, honestly, that's kind of a dealbreaker.
Ron: Let it fly.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: I need to find someone to fill in for April. Now I know I'm not going to find someone who's both aggressively mean and apathetic. April really is the whole package.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a five-and-a-half-minute mile. My personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Leslie, you look tired and you're all sweaty.
Leslie: You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse. You wanna go there, Jerry?
Jerry: No.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ron: OK, well I'm not very good at visiting people in hospitals, so I'm going to go
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Here. I didn't know what to bring you, so I just got some magazines and lipstick. Woman stuff.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

J.J.: Sure, anything for my favorite customer.
Leslie: I bet you say that to all the girls.
J.J.: Oh no, no. Actually you are my favorite. You've spent over a thousand dollars last year on waffles alone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: Then I want a janitor. They can do what you do, right?
Ann: Yep, nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable.
April: Except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be slutty.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 1: "Rainy Day"

Andy: I thought you were going to say yes, but that's OK. Because I'll be back tomorrow to ask you again. And again, the next day. And the next day. Not Friday I have to go visit my cousin. But I will be back after that to ask you again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: My plan is going to change that and bring the budget back. And the answer has been right in front of us the whole time.
April: Ew, check your testicles?
Leslie: No, not that. Although that is very good advice. I'm looking at you, Jerry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: You go big or you go home. And you don't seem like the kind of guy who goes home.
Andy: I'm not. I don't even really have a home.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Budget solutions number twenty-eight: Use grazing sheep to mow grass in parks. Note: Tired sheep could become food or sweaters.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

April: I'm sorry, I was in Venezuela.
Andy: Oh, really? Wow. Across the pond.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Oh I have an idea. You know what would be really fun? After dinner we should take a walk by the pond in Ramset Park.
Chris: Walking the parks can be very romantic.
Leslie: Yeah too bad the parks are always closed though.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Parks and Recreation" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!