Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.

Andy

So, what do you want to do tonight? We could watch TV at Burley's house, or we could watch TV at your house. Or, I mean we could watch TV at Best Buy.

Andy

I move around a lot, so the friends I make in these cities, they're like Facebook friends, you know? "Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt." Come on, Doug, who cares?

Ben

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.

Tom

Leslie: I think it should be me and then you. But, if you want, it could be you and then me. Or it could go me you me. What do you think?
Ron: How about just you?
Leslie: Thank you, Ron. Yes.

Leslie, you need to understand that we are headed to the most special place on earth. When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards there flecks of meat in my mustache and I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

Ron

Tom: Watch the master work it, I am the Yoda of networking.
Ben: Well Yoda wouldn't actually need networking, his powers were more spiritual.
Tom: Shut up you nerd!

What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? (tearily) Do you think they got eaten?

Ron
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