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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie, NO! We use that stuff to burn warts off mules!

Ron

Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

Tom: It's almost too easy.
Ben: I can hear you.
Tom: I know you can Ben, that's how easy it is.

Most of these aren't even receipts, like this one says "I bought supplies 2007."

Leslie

My first ex-wife's name is Tammy, my second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My Mom's name is Tamara... she goes by Tammy.

Ron

I would guess that they would be bankrupt by the end of this sentence.

Ben

Tammy 1 is my blonde chicken.

Ron

She's the cold distant mother I never had. I love her.

April

I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Ron
Displaying quotes 163 - 171 of 182 in total