(to Lawrence Schatz, about being the reason he died) I'm sorry for what I did. It was mostly on accident, but partially on purpose. However inadvertent, I'm sorry I did it. That's all.


Louis Schatz is a big fat liar. And I say fat in reference to his size as a liar, not as a judgment of his physical appearance.


Ned: Of course you did. Everything we do is a choice: oatmeal or cereal, highway or side street, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do

Chuck: You won't even know I'm here.
Emerson: 'Cause you're leaving?
Chuck: No.

(about Chuck) I could smell trouble on her like she stepped in it and it stuck to her heel.


You framed someone for murder, you ass!


You're like Winnie the Pooh. Gimme your paws, Pooh.


Chuck: We're going to heaven.
Louis: I got in?
Chuck: Yeah, and heaven is closing in five minutes.

Chuck: I was having conversations with myself.
Ned: What did you guys talk about?

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