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Olive: Water, H2O.
Lily: In other words for Vodka?
Vivian: Aah! Chlorine! Lily used to say it was like bottled sunshine
Lily: Now it reminds me about kids with bladder controll

Emerson: While we can appreciate and sympathize with your predicament, Mr. Herrmann...
The Great Herrmann: Please, call me Great.
Emerson: No.

Olive: You turned your assistant into a bunny?
The Great Herrmann: My assistant has always been a bunny.
Olive: Oh, I... I just wanted to see if he knew that.

The Great Hermann: (to Ned) Hello! Excuse me, excuse me. I feel I should hug you. Can I give you a big hug? I'm already hugging you, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Olive: I want a hug!
The Great Hermann: I'm not made of hugs.

Here I was just about to tell you all to shut the hell up, and the you stopped talking so I didn't have to.

Emerson

Do either of you have a gun? Then I'm going with Emerson...

Olive [to Chuck and Ned]

Damn, woman, you got the kung fu grip.

Emerson

Ned: "Maurice" and "Rolston"?
Chuck: You didn't even know their names?
Ned: I'm glad Dad got so fun and creative with naming after I left. "Goodbye, Ned. Hello, Mercutio and Ribald."
Chuck: Maurice and Rolston!

Chuck: Yeah, imagine if we'd dragged Ned here and found out that his dad's still an emotional disaster.
Olive: And it turns out he's older and crankier and drinks $6 bottles of sour mash. Oh, Ned would have a trump card of an I-told-you-so.

Your mother had a hunch. I could gold-leaf my bathroom with what I made off my hunches.

Emerson

Do you ever shiver when you pee? That's how I felt when he spoke.

Ned

Chuck: I can't believe you didn't tell me you have brothers.
Ned: Half brothers.
Chuck: Two half brothers, which is like one whole one.

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