I have no doubt you could make mince meat of us. If you wanted more mince meat.

Chuck

Chuck, I killed your father.

Ned

Oh, isn't it great we can joke? Now that we that we know that there's nothing going on between us and never was. It can be funny. I bet this sort of thing happens all the time between adults. Mixed romantic messages. In no time we'll be looking back and laugh until we wet the rug. Which we'll then want to shampoo. Couple times. Possibly three, depending on what we were drinking.

Olive

Death by scratch-'n'-sniff. What the hell happened to people shooting each other with guns?

Emerson

We're not lost. We're following the yellow thick hose.

Ned

Narrator: Anxious to sniff out more information, our heroes sought out Napoleon LeNez, scratch and sniff author, in his suite above the city and immediately found themselves in an alarming situation.
Napoleon: Do not be alarmed by the situation

Emerson: Your book was a bomb.
Napoleon: Who are you to criticize my life's work?!
Emerson: Your book was a bomb. It exploded.

Olive: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian: How fascinating.
Lily: And a bargain, too.

Narrator: The mere sight of each other left the Pie Maker and the girl named Chuck feeling exactly like they wanted to feel: safe and warm and loved.

I've had girlfriends but they were always extraneous factors.

Ned

Olive: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: As in Russian for vodka?

Lily doesn't believe in water anymore, she thinks it's a waste of a perfectly good tumbler.

Vivian

Pushing Daisies Quotes

Chuck: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Emerson: Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem

Vivian: Charlotte was a nice girl.
Lily: With the exception of puberty.
Vivian: Which was when Lily was going through a change of life.
Lily: Impolite to talk about one's menopause in mixed company.