Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Season 10 Episode 1: "Twenty Years to Life" Quotes
I just realized we got kids in the house, and I can't remember where we hid our gun.
Dan
Jackie: Here's some dressing for the table.
Roseanne: Oh look, Dan, Russian.
Dan: Spread these around.
Mark: I can't. My nails are still wet.
Dan: Your nails are still wet. You hear that honey? My grandsons nails are wet.
Mark: I like your nail polish, grandpa.
Dan: That's drywall, son.
Roseanne: Aunt Jackie thinks every girl should grow up and be President. Even if they're a liar, liar pantsuit on fire.
Jackie: I think we know who's a liar, and who's on fire, Roseanne.
I've been off the force for years, but I can still taste the adrenalin.
Jackie
You're looking very fit. Apparently all the weight you lost was the good Roseanne.
Jackie
Darlene: Is anyone going to mention she's like fifty?
Becky: I'm forty-three, and I told her I was thirty-three which according to the lady at the MAC counter is my skin age.
I better go talk to him. I'll wait till he has a couple beers first.
Roseanne
Don't be mean to your sister. She's an old woman trying to have a baby.
Roseanne
Darlene: You opened my mail?
Roseanne: Yeah. I never stopped.
Darlene: I thought I could buy a huge house that I could hold over your head.
Roseanne: That would have been sweet.
Roseanne: My little loser.
Darlene: Shut up. I'm not letting you eat that pie.
