Samantha: You work out huh?
Andrea's date: Yeah.
Samantha: Yeah. That would be helpful when Andrea's husband gets out of prison.

Samantha: I don't like the way that he is treating Andrea. I mean does he, why is he stringing her along? I mean does he not like her or something? I mean what, what is he afraid of commitment? Like what's the deal?
Seth: I'll ask him about his feelings next time we get our nails done!

Brad: Wow. Amnesia. I'm sorry.
Samantha: Oh no, no. It's okay. It's sort of like having a surprise party every single day. Like finding out about us, surprise.

Samantha: So, he was my first kiss, huh?
Samantha: Yeah, you'd come back from your week and you'd tell me all about it, and I remember every single detail because I use to write about it in my diary, except I'd use my name instead of yours

(Voice over) No matter how hard I keep landing, I guess I owe it to myself to fall, because the heart wants, what the heart wants, and apparently, mine wants a nasty bruise.

Samantha: She's suppose to be my friend, how can she do this?
Dena: You did say you didn't want Brad.
Samantha: No I didn't, I said I didn't want to want him. That doesn't mean that I don't want him. Which I don't
Dena: I can't believe she got confused.

Everyone always talks about what the Donner Party ate all winter; nobody ever talks about what they drank.

Regina

Todd: I wanna be with you on your birthday. I wanna start clean with you. I wanna be part of your life again.
Samantha: It's my birthday?!

(voiceover) When they write the book of my life, what section will I be in? Mystery? Horror? Romance? Or just misfiled and jammed in the back under military history?

Samantha: No, I can't, I can't do it like this...
Todd: Sure you can, just hold under the civil war and put your foot on the Korean conflict.

Samantha: Thank you for helping me find this book on tanks.
Todd: No, tank you.

Andrea: Why didn't you tell me? I know fifteen euro trash partiers who could be here in five minutes.
Dena: It's Samantha's birthday party, you can't fill it with strangers.
Andrea: She has amneasia.
Dena: Start dialing.

Samantha Who? Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.