Charlotte: So how are you?
Carrie: I'm good. How are you?
Charlotte: Great.
Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me.
Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon.
Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or should we get two guns and kill ourselves?

(holding up the dildo)
Miranda: Wow! Nobody needs this much. You know the average woman is only five inches deep.
Carrie: Is that written on your placemat or something?
Miranda: To me the mark of a fine penis is width.
Samantha: I couldn' t agree with you more.

Carrie: Would you please put these back where ever they came from, people are staring.
Samantha: Please, it's LA. No one cares if your egg whites have a side of cock.

Samantha: I've got something to make you feel better.
Carrie: Oh, dildos, before 10 am I'm all perked up.
Samantha: Their autographed one for each.
Miranda: My friend went to California and all I got was this lousy dildo.

Samantha: What is it about California air? It makes me sleep so well.
(Miranda nods her head in agreement)
Carrie: It's not the air, your head-board knocked you unconscious.
Samantha: You heard us?
Miranda: I didn't.
Carrie: No, Ms. Snore, you wouldn't.

Samantha: Isn't this fun?
Carrie: The answer to that would be no. Sweetie, we want to go.
Samantha: What? We can't leave yet, look they haven't even cut the cock .
Miranda: What are the chances its cream filled?

I'm not going to die in this tin can, I have a date with a dildo.


Samantha: You said you knew how to drive a stick shift?
Carrie: Well, I did it a couple of times in a parking lot.
Miranda: Why didn't you get an automatic?
Carrie: I love this car, it goes with my outfit.

But, seriously, I'm you. You've had your heart broken, I've had my heart broken, and if I have, that means other girls have to, and if other girls have, that means big opening weekend. Not X Men big, but chick-flick big. God! The guy who came up with that term should have his balls cut off.

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