You respect Jesus but not us?!

Philip

Stan: I can fix this, but the God damned bureaucracy is killing us.
Deputy Attorney General: Beeman, I am the bureaucracy.
Stan: I know that sir. That's why I'm here.

I'll get you the signals before I leave for Nicaragua. Get that body out of my house.

Larrick

Elizabeth: What's this?
Henry: It's a Camaro Z-28. Dad just bought it. Isn't it awesome?
Phillip: Ahhmazing. Well, at least it isn't a plane.

Oleg: Squeeze your anus.
Nina: What?
Oleg: Squeeze your anus before you answer the question.
Nina: Is this a joke?
Oleg: No.

Keep a tiger as a pet, it's still a tiger.

Elizabeth

You look like a spy in an old movie.

Philip

What are you, the Kenny Rogers of Tel Aviv?

Philip

They get them when they're children. They indoctrinate them with friendship and songs and cute boys cooing about Jesus.

Elizabeth

Ronald Reagan doesn't care!

Bruce

Elizabeth: What if something happens to the kids? Who will take care of them? We don't have any real friends.
Philip: Isn't that how you wanted it?
Elizabeth: Me? What's that supposed to mean?

You know Salisbury steak is technically a hamburger. In the shape of a steak.

Paige

The Americans Quotes

Interrogator: There will be no spy trades under this president.
Philip: I'm not a spy.

We will find this traitor and put a bullet in his head.

Rezident