The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Penny: This is the best cobbler ever!
Mary: You know what the secret ingredient is?
Penny: Love?
Marry: Lard

Mary: Now, you listen here. I have being telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out.
Sheldon: Why not?
Mary: Because people don't like it. You don't remember all the ass kickings you got from the neighbor kids. Now lets get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off.
Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked

I made chicken. I hope it's not one of the animals that you people think is magic

Mary [to Raj]

Sheldon: This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you...
Penny: 120?!
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?

Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully, he blessed me with two other children who were dumb as soup

Mary

Wolowitz: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Displaying all 7 quotes

The Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Wolowitz: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."