The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Leonard: No, just you and me.
Penny: Have you thought this through?
Leonard: Yes, and I think we should go anyway.

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Penny and Leonard 2.0. We can test it internally, shake out the bugs, and if we both think it is solid, we roll it out to the public

Leonard

Leonard: What are you afraid of?
Penny: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again.
Leonard: What if I dump you?
Penny: [Scoffs] Come on, be serious.

Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.

Sheldon: Now, back to our game.
Raj: You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.

And now that I have some wood. I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.

Sheldon

Penny: Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
Leonard: Not some kind of nerd, I'm the king of nerds.
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: Uh, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
Penny: You are so funny.
Leonard: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off

Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?

Raj: Did you forget what Penny did to you? It took two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
Leonard: I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship.
Raj:I heard you called her Brown Sugar. In my book, that's defilement.

Sheldon: I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellows have wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both chuckling]
Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?

Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up and I'm his sexy cardiologist. And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network.

Bernadette
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 14 in total

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Episode 13 Quotes

Oh, no. They sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.

Sheldon

Penny: You mean, like a date?
Leonard: Not like a date, a date.