You know, you might be the worst person I've ever met. And it would almost be okay if you were good at this job, but you're not. Everyone knows Chris and Ryan completely rewrite everything you do. You're always late. You're always drunk. You look like a Muppet without its fur and the only reason you're still here is because Paul knew you back when you used to be funny!

Nick

Bartender: I hope you've got cash because our credit card machines aren't working.
Raquel: That's okay, neither are my credit cards.

Wait, you're someone's father? That's messed up!

Nick

Dreamworks is doing that movie about the lazy hummingbird thing, right?

Raquel

Process Server: Raquel Westbrook? I'd recognize that walk anywhere.
Raquel: Well, that's not creepy at all.

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