The Office Season 5 Episode 8: "Frame Toby" Quotes
Michael: What are you doing?
Dwight: I am the bait.
Michael: For what?
Dwight: Men find me desirable.
Michael: No, no, no.
Dwight: Oh, it's a good day too. I'm wearing my mustard shirt.
Michael: You're the bait for Toby?
Dwight: Mmm hmm.
Michael: No, for one thing, he's not gay. And if somebody were to be bait it would be Jim. Or Ryan. Or me.
Dwight: Men find me desirable.
Michael: Yes, sure they do, Dwight.
Michael: Okay, just summarize.
Dwight: Okay, fireable offenses include: workplace violence and sexual harassment.
Michael: That's it, that's it, perfect. We will get him to hit on somebody, and then we will catch him in the act.
Dwight: I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.
Michael: Mmm. Me too. Okay, let's get this started.
I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside.
Michael
Michael: So Costa Rica that was - did you have fun? That must have been fun.
Toby: Well, um, it was amazing. It really was, thanks for asking. Um the beaches were pristine...
Michael: Nice beaches, pristine beaches?
Toby: ... and, yeah, the whole thing was incredibly cathartic.
Michael: Why'd you come back? Why didn't you stay?
Toby: It was actually kind of hard to meet people I found.
Michael: I bet, for you.
Toby: And uh, yeah, plus it was hot.
Michael: Hot ... why didn't you get an air-condition- should have gotten an air-conditioner for yourself.
Toby: Are you all right, Michael?
Michael: Yeah, I am. I am.
Andy: That is just obnoxious.
Oscar: No kidding.
Pam: Yeah! Wait, what, the mess or the note?
Oscar: The note. So holier than thou.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Oh.
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
Today's a big day. Today's the day that I show Pam the house that I bought for us. Without telling her. But it's my parent's house, the house I grew up in and yeah, I bought it kind of impulsively. I mean, the price was good and I was helping out my mom. It's got shag carpets. I mean you can't blame my parents, it was the '70s. And why would you want to buy ugly wood from trees when you can have paneling? And a painting of some creepy clowns that is apparently crucial to the structural integrity of the building. She's gonna love it. Right?
Jim
Kevin: So Jim, you're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in?
Jim: Yeah, I guess technically Kev, you're right.
Andy: So, Tunes, you still gonna buy your old man's place?
Jim: Yeah, I am. Wait, how do you know that? I didn't tell you that.
Andy: Ehhh no, I was just walking by your desk. I saw some email. I got peepers of an eagle.
Jim: That's really not cool.
Andy: Kaaw!
David: Now what I'm curious about is how you were able to go an entire a week without knowing a member of your staff was there.
Michael: I did not want to go back to the annex because that is where Holly worked whom I loved.
Dwight: Also, it's icky back there.
Michael: That's true. People say it's icky.
David: Okay, I have to go.
Michael: Is there no way we can get rid of him?
David: Not without cause, Michael.
Michael: I have cause. It is be-cause I hate him.
David: You have to get along with Toby.
Michael: No.
David: Yep.
Michael: I don't.
David: Goodbye, Michael.
I learned a while back that if I don't text 911 people will not return my calls. Um, but now people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened.
Michael