The Office

The Office "Mafia" Quotes (Page 2)

Michael: Hi. Sorry. Crazy day. You've seen how the sausage gets made, come in the conference room and I will show you a finished sausage.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: What you people don't know, about business I could fill a book with.
Ryan: Then do it.
Michael: What.
Ryan: Write a book.
[cut to Michael in his office]
Michael: The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible. I'm not surprised. Chapter one...
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Michael: Erin. Coffee.
Erin: Ok.
Michael: Not from the kitchen. Stop & Shop. If it's not Stop & Shop I send it back. Large. If it's a medium I send it back. If it's an extra-large I send it back.
Erin: How do you return coffee?
Michael: Go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: What topics, can you use for small talk?
Andy: Golf, stock market, Dave Matthews-
Michael: Yes, what else?
Creed: Small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Michael: No.
Meredith: The weekend.
Michael: Yeah! That's good! Come on up, Meredith. Come up here. Let's do a little something. So Meredith and I just started conversing, and I will say, "so Meredith, how was your weekend? What did you do?"
Meredith: Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper-part of the toilet... he calls it an "upper decker."
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: Erin, you're supposed to be the gatekeeper, do you have any idea how valuable my time is.
Erin: In your schedule it just says nine 'til noon is creative space. I thought this could be a part of it.
Michael: Do you know how creative space works? Okay why don't you just cancel my afternoon.
Erin: You don't have anything in the afternoon it just says free plate.
Michael: Push free plate 'till tomorrow morning.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Dwight: 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not mukduk.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Dwight: Do you know how to use that?
Andy: To change tires? No. But it's metal. I can hit somebody with it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to him. Trust me - I've bullied a lot of people.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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