Bill [to Hoyt]: Are you going to leave or am I going to have to throw you out a window that is closed?
Sookie: That is just rude

You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak got together and made a baby. A delicious, crispy baby

Hoyt

Eric: You surprise me. That's rare in a breather.
Sookie: You disgust me.
Eric: Perhaps I'll grow on you.
Sookie: I'd prefer cancer

This is so embarrassing. I'd die if i wasn't already dead

Jessica

Bill: I remember when ladies clothing stores sold petticoats.
Sookie: That's so weird.
Bill: Actually I sort of miss my times. Clothes left something to the imagination and required a certain skill to get past.
Sookie: I think there's a Halloween store around here that sells them.
Bill: You're such a tease

Bill: She has no humanity, she's in the grips of overwhelming transformations, there will be times when she cannot control even a single impulse...and believe me she HAS many.
Sookie: ...How is that any different from being a teenage girl

Eric: A friend of mine in the Dallas area-his name is Godric, has gone missing. Now while the circumstances of his disappearance are unclear it stands to reason his blood would be very valuable, as he's over twice my age and ten times the vampire I will ever be.
Pam: Oh Eric, you don't do humble well.
Eric: I was not being humble, this happens to be true

Eric: And it goes without saying he needs to be found...Which is where Sookie comes in.
Bill: No.
Eric: She's yours and I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas.
Bill: Eric, you can do whatever you want with me but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters.
Eric: We made a deal, your human and I. That if I didn't kill anyone she would work for me as often as I like. You remember that don't you? You were there.
Bill: Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening.
Eric: I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If i want her i can simply take her. Is no your final answer?
Bill: It is.
Eric: Poorly played Bill.Eric: And it goes without saying he needs to be found...Which is where Sookie comes in.
Bill: No.
Eric: She's yours and I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas.
Bill: Eric, you can do whatever you want with me but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters.
Eric: We made a deal, your human and I. That if I didn't kill anyone she would work for me as often as I like. You remember that don't you? You were there.
Bill: Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening.
Eric: I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If i want her i can simply take her. Is no your final answer?
Bill: It is.
Eric: Poorly played Bill.

Lafayette: Make me a vampire.
Eric: I beg your pardon?
Lafayette: You can put me to work in the bar...I'm a good dancer you've seen it on my site. (Eric walks around to him) Shit, I'd get up there and I'd move Earth and Heaven go-go style.
Eric: You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods.
Lafayette: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I...I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamour people already. Gimme what ya'll got...not only will I be a bad-ass vampire, but I'd be your bad-ass vampire

Chou [about Lafayette]: How much blood do you think he's lost?
Pam: Oh, I still think he has something to offer.
Chou: I hate to let it all go to waste like this. Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric.
Pam: Well, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules.
Chou: I doubt that.
Pam: Me too.

Sookie: Another first
Bill: How do you mean?
Sookie: We've never had make up sex before
Bill: How does it compare to "you thought I was dead" sex?
Sookie: That was pretty great too, but I wouldn't want to have to go through that again

Sam: I don't know about you, but I think I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time.
Sookie: Except this one, I just don't get. With everyone Rene killed, you could see his rage. But this?...Cuttin' out that poor woman's heart? Someone just wanted to see her suffer! Every time I think I know what's what, it turns out...I don't know anything

True Blood Season 2 Quotes

I'm tired of charring my ass on your back burner.

Sam

Your bedtime will be 4 a.m., not a minute later... We also recycle in this house.

Bill