Neither you nor Steve Perry should ever stop believing Nancy.

Reagan

Reagan: Honey you wouldn't hire that one woman because she didn't use a mac.
Chris: It's a different mindset.

Reagan: Oh Honey, she's a baby.
Chris: Yeah that's what she wants you to think. Why don't you ask her what happened with the sweet potatoes?

Maybe that summer we would have run into each other at Tower Records and made out in the parking lot.

Reagan

Ava: Was that an intruder? Not while Mama Bear is on duty. Kevin do you have a gun?!
Kevin: Yes.
Ava: Yes?!
Kevin: No!

Looks like you've grown that man scruff to hide your shame.

Ava

Damn it feels good to be normal!

Ava

Chris: I just got a text from Ava.
Reagan: Oh yeah whats it say?
Chris: Where does Amy usually like to hide?

I don't want to be objectified in front of the baby.

Chris

Reagan: Have I got a surprise for you. I'm going to give you a hint. It involves doin' it and our babysitter Patricia.
Chris: Wow...
Reagan: No! No!

Angie: Shh! Are you drunk?
Reagan: Yes! Are you drunk?
Angie: Yes!

My mother lives in a houseboat with a jazz drummer she makes me call Captain.

Ava

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?