I might not be good with relationships, but I'm really good at giving people advice about theirs. That's why they gave me my own show.

Ava

Chris: I like your charity walkathon sweatpants and birthing ponchos.
Reagan: Oh my god I had your baby!

Why are you shuffling around like you're smuggling drugs over there.

Reagan

Is your ho in there? I smell burnt ho!

Reagan

After the baby, my wife and I were living in a sweatpants purgatory.

Reed

Maintaining the romance in a relationship is very very important, or at least that's what Gwyneth says as tweeted from the London Spice Market.

Chris

Chris: So let's act like ten drinks drunk.
Reagan: OK we're not faking a problem.

Ironic is bad movies and malt liquor, not J.Crew, At the Grove and Lipitor.

Reagan

You know what? I know what this is guys. Clearly this baby has never been around a person of color before.

Ava

If you hit reply all, it really does mean all.

Reagan

Oh you two. So much love making.

Ava

Hey neighbors, do you spank it? You know how we roll up in here!

Reagan

Up All Night Season 1 Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?