Gary: FYI, the President is not calling.
Selina: FYI, Gary, no shit.

I'm eating everyone's shit. I'm like the last guy in a human centipede with this.


Selina: A Rubix Cube is not impossible to finish.
Gary: I saw a Chinese kid do one in like 10 seconds.
Selina: 10 seconds, Mike.

Gary: Every single thing you say to me is emasculating. Do you realize that?
Dan: Yes.

Gary: I've selected a few candidates. Or should I say canine-didates.
Selina: No, you shouldn't say that.

Wazzzup, as they say in the late 90s.


Ma'am, you need to kill the dog. Not literally, but if it comes to that, then yeah. You gotta kill that dog.


Selina: We have two catch-22 situations simultaneously. Is there even a name for that?
Gary: How about a catch-44?

Tell her I'm canceling the lunch with Catherine that was supposed to prove there's nothing more important than Catherine because something more important than Catherine has come up.


Mint! It implies freshness, trust, traditional values.


Senator Doyle just arrived and he has a face like he's been stabbed in the groin.


You know, I can see right through your shirt. Is it designed that way?