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Vice president selina meyer
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Ma'am, you need to kill the dog. Not literally, but if it comes to that, then yeah. You gotta kill that dog.


You know, I can see right through your shirt. Is it designed that way?


Senator Doyle just arrived and he has a face like he's been stabbed in the groin.


Selina: A Rubix Cube is not impossible to finish.
Gary: I saw a Chinese kid do one in like 10 seconds.
Selina: 10 seconds, Mike.

Tell her I'm canceling the lunch with Catherine that was supposed to prove there's nothing more important than Catherine because something more important than Catherine has come up.


Selina: We have two catch-22 situations simultaneously. Is there even a name for that?
Gary: How about a catch-44?

Gary: FYI, the President is not calling.
Selina: FYI, Gary, no shit.

I'm eating everyone's shit. I'm like the last guy in a human centipede with this.


Wazzzup, as they say in the late 90s.


Gary: I've selected a few candidates. Or should I say canine-didates.
Selina: No, you shouldn't say that.

Gary: Every single thing you say to me is emasculating. Do you realize that?
Dan: Yes.

Mint! It implies freshness, trust, traditional values.

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