Wynonna Earp
Fridays 10:00 PM on SyFyWynonna Earp Season 4 Episode 4: "Afraid" Quotes
Wynonna: Jeremy. What happened to your gorgeous little chicken limbs?
Jeremy: And a fun hi, former colleagues. Naomi, so sorry, I know her. This is the Wynonna Arp.
Wynonna: Why does everyone keep saying it like that?
Jeremy: Employee of the month June 2016.
Wynonna: It was February, actually.
Naomi: It’s the shortest month.
Jeremy: Don’t worry. Wynonna hates demons, like we all do.
Wynonna: Hell yeah, brother. I despise them dems.
Jeremy: But she’s never killed one, of course.
Wynonna: No, nope, because they are a lot.
Naomi: But you are familiar with the supernatural?
Wynonna: I feel like I can handle it.
Nicole: We could just start.
Waverly: But my PowerPoint.
Nicole: They’re always iconic.
Waverly: I do put a lot of thought into my wipes.
Nicole: I love your wipes.
Glory Hole owner: Everybody knows you’re Wynonna Earp’s man, or is Wynonna Earp your woman?
Doc: Wynonna is no one but her own. Besides, what is it to you?
Glory Hole owner: Stand down big boy. All it is to me is interesting. You are the Earps most loyal protector, and yet the thing that more recently turned your body into weapon most able to protect them, you deny.
Rachel: What do you have for me?
Billy: The holy grail: Bunny Loblah for PTA.
Nicole: And we’re on the floor.
Waverly: Yeah, how did that happened?
Nicole: Determination.
Waverly: There’s a notebook stuck to my butt.
Nicole: Maybe don’t give that one out.
Rachel: That’s a lot.
Nicole: Jeezus, Rachel. Respect the privacy of the…
Waverly: The kitchen.
Nicole: Right.
Rachel: Whatever. Do you think a junkyard would be a good place to look for a magic sword-gun?
Waverly: One man’s trash is another Earp’s treasure.
Nicole: Yeah, where is this junkyard?
Rachel: Easier if I show you, but you’re gonna need pants.
Wynonna: So what’s my first mish? Is this about finding and rescuing Robin, ‘cause I will, Jer.
Jeremy: It’s a problem we’re having with things. Robin are supply trucks. Our biggest challenge is getting provisions into Purgatory without it getting hijacked or worse.
Wynonna: All right, you need me to hunt down and kill whatever’s stealing freight and killing drivers. Got it.
Jeremy: I need you sitting in the truck.
Wynonna: Driving? You don’t ask Cate Blanchett to be a background extra. You make her Carol. Forget the cover, I’m a demon hunter, man. I am Carol.
Jeremy: And I’m a scientist with an empathetic crotch.
Wynonna: Yeah.
Jeremy: But BBD can’t find out who we really are right now. They don’t like supernatural things, Wynonna, like us. We need to get Purgatory food, medicine, booze.
Wynonna: Always lead with booze. You know yesterday the good citizens of my hometown tried to hang me for murder.
Jeremy: Yeah, they just need snacks, Wynonna. They’re kind of hangry.
Margo: Do let me know if you’re looking for anything in particular?
Waverly: Any vintage silverware?
Margo: Cutlery? Knives?
Waverly: A little bigger. Say swords.
Margo: Planning to storm a castle? Got a princess to save?
Nicole: Halloween costume. I’m going as She-Ra.
Waverly: Oh my god, I would die.
Wynonna: We should check it out.
Driver: We should not get ourselves killed.
Wynonna: I can’t believe I’m saying this in the year of our lord whatever it is. I’ve lost track. It’s our job.
Driver: This is demon shit.
Wynonna: This is a robbery. They’re trying to steal our booze and food and medicine.
Driver: Who cares about these townies?
Wynonna: I care. I actually do. Yeah, some of them might be meatballs.
Driver: Mega meatballs if they live here.
Wynonna: Yeah, but they’re my meatballs, and you don’t get to call them that wiener, I do because I’m a Purgatorian.
Driver: What a hero. I’m sure they’ll thank you by giving you super gonorrhea when they’re not trying to string you up. And I’m not dying for this dirt town and its dirt people. You don’t even have an Arby’s.
Wynonna: We have a guy named Arby, and the diaper’s just ‘cause he’s busy.
Doc: You saw Jeremy, and you didn’t tell me.
Wynonna: Literally just happened. He’s fine.
Doc: He’s probably a hostage, for which you have just bought into Black Badge’s gaslighting. Rule No. 1, Wynonna: We do not work for the enemy.
Wynonna: We both know that Rule No. 1 is triple check the birth control.
Doc: Do not commit such a childish act.
Wynonna: You want to see childish. How about this? Is childish… To prove a very adult point, a very grownup, sexy point.
Doc: Wynonna, give me the keys.
Wynonna: My wiener has them. They’re on the driver. Speaking of wieners, I bet those crates have condoms.
Doc: I got some tools in my car. It is up the road. I shall grab them, and I suppose I shall liberate you too.
Waverly: We do things here as a team.
Rachel: I work better alone, always have.
Wynonna: You don’t work at all. You’re 17 years old. Just let her go guys. She’s earned the right to be that pissed, but we have bigger things to worry about, like we work as a team and part of our team is missing. Let’s get our nerd back.
Waverly: OK, how do we get Jeremy away from the border and Black Badge?
Wynonna: We tell the truth, and then we beg.
