Community

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Community
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Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.

Britta: So you just left your section blank.
Jeff: No, of course not! I copied and pasted the lyrics to "War (What Is It Good For)."

Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?

It's puppet therapy. The psychology world has recently embraced it after seeing it on "Law & Order."

Britta

Are we just gonna avoid eye contact forever? What are we, Jeff during sex?

Britta

Who's holding? I have four berries, but I'm saving them for "Laser Floyd."

Britta

Britta: We do need the money. The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for ten years.
Dean: If we get this money, we can buy 100 pigs and make everybody happy.

If I wanted to wait on a rich man hand and foot, I would have gone to Dubai with that sheik I met at Trader Joe's.

Britta

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

Britta: Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff: Because they've never seen a man who's had sex before?

Do they even have to talk? They could just touch tentacles and download.

Britta

Calling for help? A classic...call for help.

Britta
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.