Community

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Community
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Britta: When's the graduation ceremony?
Jeff: Never. It's community college. You send in some papers and they stop charging you.

Britta: So you just left your section blank.
Jeff: No, of course not! I copied and pasted the lyrics to "War (What Is It Good For)."

Shirley: See? Prayer works.
Britta: So does gravity, Shirley.
Shirley: And you know who invented gravity, right?

It's puppet therapy. The psychology world has recently embraced it after seeing it on "Law & Order."

Britta

Are we just gonna avoid eye contact forever? What are we, Jeff during sex?

Britta

Who's holding? I have four berries, but I'm saving them for "Laser Floyd."

Britta

Britta: We do need the money. The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for ten years.
Dean: If we get this money, we can buy 100 pigs and make everybody happy.

If I wanted to wait on a rich man hand and foot, I would have gone to Dubai with that sheik I met at Trader Joe's.

Britta

Britta: Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
Jeff: What about car accidents, Tara Reid, or the Hindenburg?

Britta: Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff: Because they've never seen a man who's had sex before?

Do they even have to talk? They could just touch tentacles and download.

Britta

Calling for help? A classic...call for help.

Britta
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

Community Quotes

Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!

Stop being meta. Stop taking everything we do and shoving it up its own ass.

Jeff
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