Favorite Zooey Deschanel Quotes
Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.
If somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at these two totally normal roommates. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.
Jess
You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!
Jess
Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.
Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?
Jess
Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.
Jess
Jess: Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing.
Nick: That's the only thing in the world I know to be true.
Jess: I have to show Nick...something in the bathroom.
Nick: It's tiles...I'm so bad at lying! It's for sex!
I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.
Jess
I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick.
Jess
Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.
Jess
Nick doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, "Put on pants."
Jess