In his continuing quest to make Glendale a respectable school, Dean Pelton attempts to recruit Troy to play football for the team. When he refuses, the Dean blackmails Jeff by threatening to send around promotional material of Jeff being enrolled to local law firms. Jeff convinces Troy to join the team, despite Annie who's desperately trying to keep Troy from playing football, and again being the popular guy that ignores her. Annie guilts Jeff into trying to talk Troy out of football, but it's too late a the pep rally. It turns out when Troy saw the lame stadium and horrible team, he felt he could finally play football for fun. Turns out he actually purposely injured himself during that keg stand to get out of football because he couldn't handle the pressure of playing at a real school.
Meanwhile, when Shirley asks Britta to join her in the bathroom, Jeff has to explain to her it's her role as a woman to do so. Britta asks Shirley to the bathroom later only to ruin girl talk with her crazy feminism. When Britta asks Shirley again, she's rejected, and breaks into tears, only to have Shirley take her into the bathroom and comfort her. Britta learns to be a little softer in the bathroom and shows off her new skills by comforting Annie after football star Troy is a jerk to her.
The crazy Dean also decides to change the mascot of the team from the grizzlies to the human beings and needs help creating a new mascot. He enlists the help of Pierce and the two of them try and create a human being that's from no particular race or creed. The result? The scariest mascot you've ever seen.
Britta: I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.
Jeff: Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman" like... doing it with me.
Britta: Nothing says "I'm a pig" like you
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Dean Pelton: Well look at this group having some of meeting and being so diverse. There is just, boy! There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?
Pierce: Well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it!
Britta: Ah, Pierce, that's the dean
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