The Office Quotes: "Double Date"

at . Comments

Thursday's episode of The Office, "Double Date," centered on what was probably the most awkward such date in the history of dating: Pam-Jim and Michael-Helene (Pam's mom).

It was so awkward, in fact, that the awkwardness was multifaceted. Pam hated the fact that Michael dated her mom at all, but when he dumped her for being too old? Look out.

This wasn't the best episode in the history of the show by any means, as the primary plot went on a bit too long. But the culmination of Pam's anger with Michael was priceless.

Fool got smacked. Hard. In the parking lot. With an audience. As Phyllis said, "holy crap."

Meanwhile, the B-story was Dwight trying to win allies for a coup against Jim. But, however unwittingly, Andy refused to play along with Dwight's plan to get people to "owe him one."

You Owe Me

Bagels in hand, Dwight seeks to get his co-workers to "owe him one."

Some of The Office quotes from this episode included:

Dwight: Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get sooooo cynical? | permalink
Meredith: Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him. | permalink
Andy: You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness. | permalink
Pam: I used to love coming here. The chicken parm is good, big part of my childhood. Oh! Maybe Michael will start dating that too. | permalink
Pam: You're bribing me.
Michael: No! No, no... Unless you want me to! Do you want me to? Because I will. I will bribe you. No... Your face is saying, don't? Unless I haven't offered you enough? Your face isn't changing. What is it! Talk to me face, tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. | permalink
Phyllis: Holy crap. | permalink

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Tags: ,

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.