If you're Charlie Harper, there's just one consequence of going through a plate glass window: You get back together with your ridiculously hot girlfriend, as played by Jenny McCarthy.

Just like for Charlie Sheen in real life, no matter what this guy does, nothing sticks.  It's good to be Charlie.  Really good.  Just see the above picture.

Meanwhile, it's far less good to be Alan.  While the poor guy has always looked bad next to his brother - and, no, it's not just genetics and barber school haircuts - he looks particularly bad when Charlie is dating Courtney.

Limos? Charity events? Diamonds? How is a crappy chiropractor with child support and alimony payments supposed to compete?  By turning to crime, and thus, turning this potentially mediocre "Dead from the Waist Down" into something much funnier.

Once Alan stole the diamond earrings from Judith, the episode really kicked in.  While Chuck Lorre and company could have easily gone the route of making Alan get caught trying to return the earrings, instead they made fun of that cliche and gave us a much more entertaining story.

If Alan merely got caught, we never would have seen his nervous fake fight with Judith in front of Herb and Lyndsey.  Nor would we have seen the best moment of the episode as Alan took out his stolen necklace at the end.

Overall, it was a very impressive performance by Jon Cryer. We'll leave you with our favorite Two and a Half Men one liners and quotes from the episode:

Berta: I also found a half written suicide note in your brother's handwriting. Should I be nervous?
Charlie: You mean that he won't get through with it? | permalink

Courtney: Charlie, you shouldn't have!
Charlie: Well, you've done a lot of things for me you shouldn't have. | permalink

Alan: Charlie, do you have any idea how bad you're making me look?
Charlie: That's not me. It's genetics and barber school haircuts. | permalink

Jake: I saw this video called "Topless Co-eds of the Big Ten" and I decided I had to go to college.
Alan: You expect me to pay $30,000-$40,000 a year so you can meet drunk girls who will lift their shirts?
Jake: Yes, please. | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.