The Dice man cometh. And he’s really - oh, what’s the word? - annoying.
If you’re a fan of 90s shock comedian Andrew Dice Clay, you might be happy to see him get some new screen time as Drama’s animated show sidekick. But I’d wager a guess that even the Dice faithful fans would still find his whiny, insecure “character” irritating, as we all saw on "Out With a Bang."
Poor Drama is finally headed toward career resurrection, and Dice tries to convince him to use the show’s test audience popularity to leverage a better paycheck?!? Even if he’s unhappy with his contract, that’s no reason to try to play hardball with network execs. Unless he likes to lose.
And if I have to listen to him say, “We do the f*cking, Drama!” one more time, I’ll scream. I know Dice has his funny moments, but his agent clearly sold his soul to the devil to get him on Entourage, and I hope he gets voted off the proverbial island. Soon.Elsewhere in Hollywood, it’s not a good week to be a waiter - or Bobby Flay. There’s nothing like seeing Ari burst through his office door, music swelling, screaming obscenities and hurling threats. These are the moments we watch this show for, aren't they?
So when Ari learned Mrs. Ari was dating “the fire crotch," I knew we were in for some fun. At least she’s not dating a waiter, though; he’d clearly prefer death. If there’s one thing Ari does well, it’s eviscerate his enemies. It would’ve been better if he’d run through Flay’s restaurants shooting a paintball gun - a la season 6 finale - but whatever havoc he’s going to wreak in the future will still be amazing. It better be, because this is clearly the strongest story of the season.
Vince, the once gleaming centerpiece of stardom and sex appeal on this show, has been reduced to a boring sidebar in the conversation. He’s like celebrity furniture: he’s just there. They’d better fast forward to his blockbuster movie starting to shoot or else cook up something more exciting, because one episode about a miner/dog movie is bad. Two is pushing it. At three, I riot.
Eric and Sloan completed the obligatory “let’s sleep together one last time despite being broken up” task this week. They went from yelling “F*ck you” at each other to taking it literally, which was a fun little twist. It would’ve been more fun if E was man enough to go for a double header afterward, as Drama and Turtle encouraged, but he’s too much of a wuss to indulge.
Let’s see if Turtle shows that much restraint after he and Alex finally part ways. The smart money’s on him sleeping with at least one of the smoking hot Avion girls – if not all of them – after he’s single again. Hell, I’m not even a guy and I’d hit that. And now that Turtle’s half the man he used to be (please don’t lose any more weight, Jerry Ferrara) he could probably be a solid wingman for Vince at the clubs... if Vince ever goes out again.
One would think with Scott around, Ari on the warpath, E single and Turtle soon-to-be-single, there’d be more debauchery brewing. We’re waiting, Entourage, and trying to be patient. Pretty please raise the bar before Curb Your Enthusiasm becomes the best reason to watch HBO on Sunday nights.