Gossip Girl Round Table: "Con Heir"

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Welcome to our weekly Gossip Girl Round Table discussion! Below, our panelists are here to break down Monday's spring premiere episode (see our official Gossip Girl review) in even greater detail.

In a Q&A session below, TVF CEO Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy) editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and staff writers Courtney Morrison and Leigh Raines have gathered to discuss all things "Con Heir."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!


1. What was your favorite quote or scene from the episode?

Courtney: Toss up. Blair talking about her experience with Dan as the least sexy thing since Courtney Stodden or Jack telling Chuck it's about time Nate admitted his true feelings for him. GG was back and it brought great one-liners with it.

Leigh: Blair's visit to Queens and the witty banter with Dorota that followed. "Here's your baby gift, sorry you weren't there to wrap it."

Steve: Gotta be Jack implying he got hepatitis C from Pamela Anderson ... who actually has hepatitis C. Joking about chronic, potentially fatal diseases often linked to drug use? So wrong, and so hilarious.

Eric: Pretty much every scene related to the awkward Dair sex scene. But probably have to give it to Blair showing up in Queens to get drunk off cheap vodka in champagne glasses as she poured her heart out to Dorota.

2. Bigger plot hole: Gossip Girl losing access to her own site, or Ivy's assets being frozen without a shred of proof?

Courtney: G.G. losing access. I mean it is her own website. She knows everything, how can she not figure out her password? I get the assets being frozen, but not immediately like Ivy thought.

Leigh: I'm not sure what the legal protocol is here but as the executor would William be able to freeze the assets that quickly? My vote would be to Gossip Girl. Surely she has security questions or whatnot to restore her password.

Steve: Gossip Girl should know better, trusting Georgina to take over. Better to go dark for a few months than risk this kind of mutiny. Regarding Ivy, how can Lola's word alone be enough to get her assets frozen, when William, for all intents and purposes, orchestrated the so-called bribe? Guess a judge will decide that, but it seems legally flimsy.

Eric: Stop baiting the computer guy! Obviously I have to go with Gossip Girl not able to getting access back into her machine. Couldn't she just call the hosting company, worst case scenario? But in a very close second was the English speaking cabbie that picked up Dair in NYC. Threw me off for the next 10 minutes.

3. Bigger blunder: Nate firing S, or S not simply sending the blast once William had the check in hand?

Courtney: Serena and the blast. That was just pure stupidity. What made her think that by 8 p.m. the truth would be revealed? The party shouldn't have even started yet.

Leigh: Option 3) S thinking any party in NYC would be in full swing by 8 p.m. and setting the blast for that time. Also we all know Nate will give S her job back. She's too hot and he's too much of a pushover.

Steve: Courtney and Leigh are right. Don't ask me why you don't just draft up the blast and hit send manually at the ideal moment, but if you're going to pre-set the time at all, at least make it like 11 p.m. when people are sufficiently drunk and making terrible decisions. No one other than Dair is ready to get sloshed by 8. That's like late afternoon UESDT.

Eric: Nate firing S. Sorry N, but you can't brag how "inside" the Spectator is when you lost your one inside blogger. Who are you going to show off next time an investor rolls in? Plus I was really starting to enjoy reading S by S over my first cup of coffee.

4. Dair elevator/outdoor sex: Hot or not?

Courtney: Hot! It's Queen B, of course it was. Although it instantly made thing of her limo ride with Chuck from before.

Leigh: I have zero desire to step anywhere near the shipper war so I will answer based on logistics. The elevator scene was definitely well shot, the straddling, lifting, undressing, unzipping, was well done.

Steve: In a word, wow.

Eric: I know it was supposed to be, especially after their wow-less sex, but still, kind of meh for me. Though B could show up in that trench coat at any family function of mine anytime she wants. Now that was wow and hot.

5. More out of place: Lily living in the loft, or Blair pounding straight mid-grade vodka?

Courtney: Hot! It's Queen B, of course it was. Although it instantly made thing of her limo ride with Chuck from before.

Leigh: Despite Lily's days with Lincoln Hawk she looked positively lost in that loft. Blair would've downed rubbing alcohol if it made her forget about bad sex.

Steve: Dorota's neighborhood may not be a place Blair frequently visits, but she made herself at home in a hurry. Our girl can rough it with the bridge and tunnel people like a champ. Lily, though? She just looked like a total fish out of water, treating the Williamsburg loft (a massive space still probably worth $3 million I might add) with utter disdain.

Eric: Pretty much everything related to Blair in Queens. Oh boo hoo for Lily that it was so tough for her to find her necklace in her second home in NYC.

6. Will Serena make a good Gossip Girl 3.0?

Courtney: Ehhhh, I'm not too confident in this. I like that it gives her character her own arc, but S is no longer ruthless enough to make the site as fun as it was before. But after G's reign, Serena can only do better.

Leigh: Serena already made a big boo boo but I have faith she can turn it around. However, she's way better as the subject of celebrity gossip than the one dishing it.

Steve: I hope so. She might not be as cutthroat as her predecessors, but Serena is prone to bad decisions and being manipulated easily. So there's lots of potential for GG3 wreaking havoc with people.

Eric: Luckily G set the bar pretty low as GG 2.0. While I do think S will be a more entertaining GG, I can't help but think that either 1.0 or 2.0 will somehow end her short reign.

Uncle Jackass!

7. Jack Bass: Best recurring character ever?

Courtney: Absolutely! I wish we could get some JB in our lives a little more often. He was quick with the one liners and still looked as handsome as ever. I vote for a two episode minimum each season.

Leigh: Seeing Jack's sexy self was like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

Steve: He certainly made a case for it last night, and Desmond Harrington clearly has a field day playing this drug-addled, wise-cracking, sort-of-shady mess. Counting down the days until his next cameo.

Eric: You mean the Magic Johnson of Hepatitis C? What a great future spokesman for the disease and easily one of the best recurring characters the show has. My heart still has a strange soft spot for G ...

8. Is Diana Chuck's actual mother?

Courtney: It would make sense... but I would hate to think that she would be around him all that time she was with Nate and not even acknowledge the situation. I'm thinking aunt.

Leigh: I'm still not sure. I'm going with an Aunt who Bart probably also slept with.

Steve: It feels like they're setting that up, but the question is why. Say she's Chuck's real mother ... then what? Chuck has a hot British mom? I've been curious since the beginning what makes Diana so important.

Eric: Jack's shady phone call definitely means it's not simply Elizabeth coming back. And since we know Diana is and her photo was in that dossier... it's not the craziest stretch in GG history. If so... let's just say MILF.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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