"Hell on Heels" was really just a big ole sexual innuendo-filled Client List episode that ran over into child pageant territory.
There wasn't a lot to it, and that was alright. Fun is why we watch television. So let's chat a bit about that before I ruin your night.
When Derek walked in on Selena undressing in the locker room, I didn't think anything about it. Selena, on the other hand, actually had the nerve to take offense. The woman who makes a living giving happy endings to The Client List was peeved that someone saw her boobs without her express permission. Downright strange, that.
But very fun when she and Nikki grabbed a mirror to watch him taking a shower, Nikki wishing she was a bar of soap. Oh, we've all wished we were a bar of soap at one time or another!
Selena and Derek spent the remainder of the hour taunting each other until he finally dropped trou when she was least expecting it - and she discovered he goes commando and why he has so many repeat clients. Now, I'm not sure how it works on the male side of The Rub, but I wouldn't think a happy ending would have anything to do with his apparatus. Am I completely misunderstanding how The Rub operates? After all, it's not called The Bump and Grind. Nonetheless, Derek and Nikki have been great additions to the staff and made the formerly insufferable Selena fun. I salute them!
Lives were intermingling as Riley ran into a client at the Curl Up and Die (and she just about wanted to) and Nikki put on a naughty school girl uniform to greet a client that turned out to be her accounting professor from college. Luckily, they all take their oath from The Rub very seriously and no harm was done, but it's funny to see them all bumping into each other in strange locations.
Lacey was playing her own game of Red Light District with Dale as he had to leave a specimen behind at the fertility clinic. They are so cute and their news that they only have a 10% chance of having a child together because of Lacey's eggs was horribly disappointing. Lacey was crushed and it was difficult not to cry along with her at the horrible news.
Jennifer Love Hewitt got to strut her stuff when Katie wanted to take a turn at pageantry because it was sort of a mother and daughter thing. Riley and Katie did some sort of song and dance wherein Katie just moved along side Riley and tried to look cute. To her credit, J Love was really singing and didn't tape the scene so she sounded fantastic. She looked and sounded just like a mother would in her position and the scene was really cute. It earned Katie the Best Personality Princess crown.
Since Katie saw mommy kissing Uncle Evan, now's the time where it all goes bad. Katie brought it up more than once, and Riley kissed Dale to show Katie she kisses all the men she cares about. But the real story was happening behind bars, as Riley visited Kyle with the kids. You could see her growing closer to Kyle being with him and their kids, and like so many adults do, in the end, she decided to honor her commitment to Kyle and drop Evan. Not because she loves Kyle, but because he's her kids' daddy and everything she does is for the kids.
I have news for her. Watching parents grow up who aren't in love does nothing for the kids down the road. It may hurt like hell when they're little, but as a grown up girl who never saw true love, it was no better living in a house without it. You learn how to show affection from your parents and pretending won't do them any favors.
Will Evan back down? My guess is he will temporarily. He has those new friends at the academy, after all. It will be easy to lose himself in them for a while. But they aren't Riley, and it's Riley who he loves. There will be a showdown, and we have to hope the writers have been listening to us wanting Evan to win Riley's heart.
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer and critic for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Critic's Choice Association, enjoys mentoring writers, conversing with cats, and passionately discussing the nuances of television and film with anyone who will listen. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.