Brandi's had more than one "Tough Break" this month, but The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 4 Episode 12 featured everyone ready to protect themselves.
We recap the choke holds and broken bones in our TVF +/- review...
Yes, the self defense instructor taught the women how to do a choke hold.
Plus 22. The dinners at Sur will never be the same.
Yolanda was definitely into it. She almost took out the instructor. Then she told the story of a man breaking in with a gun while she was naked and breast feeding her baby daughter. As she put it, "Don't' come close to my kids because I will kill you."
Plus 15. I don't doubt it.
Then there was Joyce's scary story. Two men in ski masks and shotguns came up their driveway and were chased away by their trained attack dog.
Seriously?!? What on earth is going on at Joyce's house?
But since the incident, she says she's bought machetes and baseball bats and keeps them behind every chair. Minus 19. Remind me not to visit Joyce!
Scarier still was her husband taking her for firearms training. I'm not judging having a gun in the house but hopefully they're a little more careful with it than they are with the machetes.
Unfortunately Joyce treated the deadly weapon like a toy and spent most of the first half of her lesson giggling like it was a slumber party. Minus 33.
If the Housewives are going to venture into firearms training can they at least take it seriously because after this, the last thing that would make me feel safe is Joyce carrying a weapon.
Brandi's experience at the self defense class may have landed her with a fractured hand and lots of annoying mothering from Lisa. Minus 17. Sometimes Ms. Vanderpump needs to learn when to back off.
Off in Sacramento, Brandi brought Yolanda along for moral support as she tried to mend fences with her father. Plus 13 because it actually seemed to work.
Although it was a little sad that Brandi told her Dad several times that she loved him before he said it back to her even once.
And Brandi's admission that she saw her once hippie (now more conservative) father naked so many times as a child that it probably scarred her for life explained a lot about Ms. Glanville.
Speaking of strange, Carlton's throwing a party and auditioning the entertainment. Girls…lots of girls and preferably ones that now how to work a pole.
Yeah, this should be interesting.
Episode total = -19! Season total = -82!
Now it's your turn, TV Fanatics. Tell us, should Joyce be armed?
C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.