Tonight is Glee Season 5 Episode 14, where everyone has magically moved to New York so we don’t have to pretend to shoot in Ohio anymore. And that’s what you missed on Glee.
One of the producers gives Rachel 24/7 car service and I seriously cannot think of a better gift ever. I live in rural Connecticut and I want 24/7 car service. Never worry about parking again!
Unfortunately, her car service has no room for wheelchairs, so poor Artie has to walk, er, wheel like a peasant. Because springing for a cab doesn’t even occur to Rachel.
Blaine is sickeningly in love with Kurt and they sing "You Make Me Feel So Young". Which make them seem old. I think that’s the point, since they are in fact turning into an old married couple.
Artie is feeling very able in the city, until a dude on crutches steals his backpack. Am I allowed to laugh at this?
Sam can’t get a modeling job. I mean, he was clearly good looking enough to get this part on Glee so that’s a little hard to believe. He and Blaine sing "Best Day Of My Life" in an almost deserted Times Square. They must have blocked it off REALLY far back to shoot this scene. I wonder leaving Coach Sue out of this episode left a huge budget surplus.
I do not believe for even one second an art school still teaches mime, but the invisible box of Kurt’s life is hilarious.
SAM LOOKS JUST LIKE BRAD PITT. Why didn’t he cut his hair before?!
In case you were wondering, Awful Rachel is still Awful. She once asked a homeless person for her $10 back, which is about even with that dude on crutches mugging Artie.
Adam-Lambert-I-mean-Elliot gives Kurt some solid relationship advice and then sing a song I don’t know really well. “I forgot how awesome Adam Lambert is,” says my husband. I did not forget, but love him on this show SO much.
Awful Rachel is complaining about her car service because it makes her “less authentic”. I will take your car service! I bet she feels less authentic when it is 95 degrees with 100% humidity.
Sam gets a modeling job and moves out, which surprisingly makes Blaine sad. Kurt comes home and freaks out for no actual reason. Wow, you mean getting engaged to some dude you knew in high school doesn’t translate well to the real world? I’m shocked.
Blaine goes to accuse Elliot of trying to date Kurt. It would be easier to take him seriously if he wasn’t wearing a hideous sweater and red pants. Elliot blames Kurt’s weirdness on New York and suggests Blaine just back off a little because dude, you really do need to just back off a little.
Awful Rachel once again realizes she’s awful and volunteers to help Artie not get mugged on the subway. Then she ruins it by encouraging a whole subway car full of people to break into a choreographed dance number. You know actual New Yorkers wouldn’t stand for that sh*t. NO EYE CONTACT.
Sam moves into the model apartment and has a roommate named Sam. SHE’S A GIRL.
Blaine decides to get his own place but he and Kurt are NOT going to break up, so it’s basically meaningless. They don’t know that, because they’re like 12 years old, but if you live in the same city as the person you are seriously dating, go to the same school and have all the same friends, you live together by default no matter your actual address. Truth.
Mercedes is here! Does this mean more actual singing on the singing show?
She also has a fantastic apartment she’s going to lend to Sam and Blaine. How come all my friends in New York are struggling singers or unemployed writers and absolutely none of them have car service or amazing apartments? I have the wrong friends.
Rachel is closing the show with a super classic rendition of “People” and she kills it.
Next week on Glee, hate crimes! That sounds...gleeful?I don't know, I think that whole Klaine thing resolved itself way too fast. Do you think Blaine and Kurt are going to break up?