The Real Housewives of Atlanta Review: Hello Mr. Chocolate

at .  Updated at . Comments

Apollo Nida's headed to the slammer on The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 7 Episode 14.

Actually, as we watch tonight's episode, he's already there, and has been for a few months now. We're sure he's making nice with his fellow inmates, working on some new tattoos, and probably not spending too much time overly concerned with the goings on outside the prison walls.

Or maybe he is since he's dropping one hell of a bombshell on tonight's drama-fest. Let's get to it with our +/- recap!

Catching up with Claudia is first on our agenda and I'm randomly wondering if she's had her feet fixed yet. Kenya's taking Cynthia by the place and Claudia FINALLY has a couch. Plus 8. Another plus 5 for that bombass chandelier.

And now comes the point of the night when Claudia paints herself the victim in the Claudia-Porsha showdown from Porsha's coming out party. Claudia's crying because she has enough stress and this thing with Porsha reminds her of high school.

Hi, hello. Has she ever seen an installment of any Real Housewives franchise in any city? It's all high school. 

Claudia stands by the statements she made about Porsha's African prince, even if she had no business making them, and says no guy will ever buy her vagina with a purse. Or a car. But a really nice car might buy him some titties. I think he's supposed to buy those, too. Isn't that how it works?

Kandi packing for a trip to LA with Todd. She's doing a part in Second Chance Christmas and she didn't even have to audition for it. Plus 4

She's going there planning to learn some things so that she and Todd can produce a move next year (this year). He's packing way more than she is because he's planning to stay for an extra week. Minus 3.

Kandi's not happy. He tells her she likes to argue and NOPE that's not true. Kandi HATES to argue. Get with it, Todd.

Petere's picking up Apollo because Apollo "seemed about to trip" on the phone. It's the night before he's set to report to prison. The other night he grabbed Phaedra's phone and apparently she's having an affair. She and the guy have a countdown going until she's "off the plantation." 

WHOA. Minus 40.

He asked Phaedra what the texts were about and who the guy is and he's some African dude she calls "Chocolate." But she says it's not a big deal because he's not even here. 

Apollo says that he told Phaedra "people kill people" for things like this. It's called "love crime." Peter gives him the best advice ever and tells him not to think like that. 

The minute Peter walks in the door, he pops a bottle of champagne and tells Cynthia alllll about the texts Apollo found on her phone. Peter looks mad FOR Apollo and Cynthia doesn't even seem like she can believe it. She seriously cannot even believe it. 

To be honest, neither can I, but the texts, man. The texts. Minus 12

It's 2:00 a.m. and Kenya can't even make tea. She Facetime's Brandon to ask about a scene she's writing with him and I'm surprised she didn't ask him how to boil water. 

She didn't want to write this project, but she is writing this project so she better get with it. She wants to get their episode shot so she can get it out to networks during pilot season. She doesn't like to lose money. 

Kenya says she has a Kandi dildo and then GOES TO A KITCHEN CABINET TO RETRIEVE IT. She keeps a dildo IN HER KITCHEN. Minus 45. Girl, there are a dozen and five other places you can keep one of those. In your kitchen is not one of them.

It's 4:35 in the morning and Claudia's alarm is going off. When she doesn't listen to the alarm, the cat just licks her face. (okay, it's her arm.)

Waking up early is affecting Claudia, but so is this thing with Porsha. She doesn't want their jobs to be affected by the drama. 

Kenya's casting her pilot and she's starting with Winsome Sinclair for casting. She wants A-listers to shoot her pilot so she's using her Hollywood connections. None of the girls they audition for the role of Megan are fantastic. Cynthia comes in to read for the part of a Jamaican salon owner and she comes totally dressed for the part.

It's kind of hilarious. Plus 15 for Cynthia. 

Now that Kandi's show is defunct, Kenya's auditioning some of her former cast members, but she needs one of them to play Robin, fake Kenya's OLDER sister. 

Kenya, honey, you're pushing 40. Or over it. 

Claudia sits down for a chat with Rickey Smiley because she wants to get better at what she's doing on the radio. He asks how things are going with Porsha and she straight up says it's not good. Rickey says somebody has to be the bigger person, whether it's her or Porsha.

He goes to get Porsha to drag her in for a sitdown. 

Oh dear.

Porsha has gummy bears in her purse. I'm giving her a Plus 10 but Claudia can't believe it.

Rickey says he feels tension between the two of them and he doesn't like it. Claudia says she doesn't like it either and wants to put it all behind them but she never offers Porsha an apology for anything she said to Porsha on their trip. Rickey tells them to stop talking in the past and put it behind them and then he...prays with them. At work. Weird.

That's not even at all going to be a resolution and somebody's probably going to end up getting fired.

Kandi's back in town without Todd. She tells her friend (who is unpacking her suitcase for her where can I get one of those friends) that she's not sure if she wants to produce a movie with Todd. Todd answers questions for other people and doesn't want Kandi to go and ask questions when he's already answered them. She wants the answers for herself. Plus 10.

She says they've been arguing a lot lately and they're only having sex once a week. She has to initiate it, which is apparently weird to her friend. Kandi wonders if he's cheating. Todd claims he isn't but says that if he IS, he'll be the one to pay. Plus 8.

Kandi thinks they need counseling and her BFF asks if she's actually going to work on it. Kandi's the kind who likes to stcik her head under the rug when bad things happen. 

Phaedra's home, checking the house in Apollo's absence. He's supposedly reported to prison so she's finally okay to come home. He threatened to do terrible things to the house, but it appears he did none of them. So that's good.

Phaedra has a locksmith arrive at the house so she can change the locks and the garage door opener. She doesn't know who he might have given a key to and she wants to make sure she and the kids are safe. She tells Kalisha, her assistant, that she needs to go to the firing range to brush up on her shooting skills now that Apollo's gone. 

Phaedra wants peace of mind and rest, which is not what she's about to get. Just as she's telling the garage door repairman that she wants the garage door codes changed, Apollo drives up. He's supposed to be six hours away in Kentucky. Minus 8.

He has clothes in the laundry room that he wants to make sure get put into his drawers. She tells him she's changing the locks on whomever has a key and not on Apollo and he flips just a little. 

He says he built their house, he owns it, it's his. Blah blah. She calls his friend Bun and tells Bun to come and get Apollo before she has to call the police. Phaedra keeps her cool until Bun says all Apollo wants is to see his kids. That's when the Mama Bear comes out and she means business. It might be the most angry we'll ever see her.

Apollo drives away and then comes zooming backward down the street before pulling back into the driveway. He gets out of the car accusing Phaedra of cheating on him and goes to get a drill. She tells him to put it down and he does, then he leans into her ear to tell her not to call the police. 

He goes back into the house with the drill and comes back out and tells the workers that if they borrow his stuff, they need to put it back where they got it from. She tells him she's not sure she'll be there when he gets back and he asks her to mail him a key and a fob so he can get back into his house when he's out. 

He gets in the car and drives off, presumably to prison.

EPISODE TOTAL: -48 SEASON TOTAL: -596

Next week we'll see Phaedra get even more angry than we saw her tonight when Kenya accuses her of being a dirty cheater. Be sure you watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online to catch that one!

Hello Mr. Chocolate Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
  • 3.0 / 5.0
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
User Rating:

Rating: 3.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)

Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

Tags: , ,