It's safe to say that American Horror Story Season 5 Episode 1 wasted no time at all in throwing viewers into one seriously effed up universe.
We have Lady Gaga playing one half of a blood-sucking, child-abducting couple... we have Sarah Paulson as a drug addict, who was seemingly killed many years ago when Kathy Bates' Iris pushed her out a window.
We have Wes Bentley as a detective determined to make up for losing his son at a carnival... and we have his son actually being found (by viewers) at the Hotel Cortez, playing video games and being very, very, very weird.
Does this all sound a bit confounding? A bit hard to follow? This is American Horror Story, remember.
Go ahead and watch American Horror Story online in order to make sense of all this awesome craziness.