This winter finale business is totally cramping our TV style, people. Reign Season 3 Episode 7 had all the momentum and intrigue the previous episode lacked, and now the show doesn't return until January 8th.
At which time it will finish part of a run and then get bumped off the schedule until whenever the CW sees fit to put it back into the rotation. Greeaaaaaat.
Tonight was really, really good. The kind of Reign that leaves me wanting more and more, when right now it feels like we're doomed to get less and less.
Let's talk about Don Carlos.
The prince of Spain, the man who dared ask Elizabeth to show him what's under her skirt in order to dispel rumors that she might actually be a man, was hiding a few secrets of his own. He has a thing for letting women take control, which is a talent both Mary and Elizabeth seem to possess.
His desire has scared off more than one potential bride, and Catherine, ever the one to roll up her sleeves and get her hands dirty, was eager to push Mary into giving his need to be whipped a whirl.
That ended as horribly as one might expect and gave us what might be one of the best Mary/Catherine moments we've seen in a while – that didn't revolve around their shared grief over losing Francis.
There's a part of me who can see Adelaide Kane and Megan Follows filming that closing scene after Don Carlos was embarrassed and then impaled in the neck and then bursting into laughter at the absurdity of it all once the cameras stopped rolling, because yes, that scene was absurd, but in the way only a series like Reign can really do well.
It's safe to say Mary won't be using Spain's fortune to save Scotland any time soon, and in fact, she's probably made a new enemy. Will Narcisse, France's new regent, stand up for Mary? Maybe. But maybe not.
Oh, right. Narcisse is the new regent. He slept with Catherine to make her think he would be voting for her and happily accepting the position of lord chancellor but secretly plotted against her the whole time by framing her for Francis' death. She's not guilty, of course, and that will be proven, but the damage is done. Narcisse is in charge.
What will Lola say when she finds out that he's the new regent? There's a solid chance that the passion Narcisse said he wanted from her will come out when she discovers just how he went about securing this position for himself, but it won't be the sexy, kinky kind of passion he was hoping for. As much as I want to love Narcisse with Lola, he pretty much deserves a swift kick in the nethers for his behavior.
And let's be real. Lola's totally going to find out what he's done, particularly now that he's usurped Catherine. She doesn't care for Lola at all and has pretty much nothing to lose by spilling the beans about Narcisse's late night visit to her chambers. Ugh. Poor Lola.
Part of me wants to say poor Greer, too, but then Leith is the one who's being kept in the dark right now. Unless Greer slept with the pirate and this baby is his...
OH MY GOD. It is. The baby is the pirate's.
What will Greer do? A tavern/brothel is no place to raise a baby! My mind is sort of blown all over again just thinking about the possibilities here. These girls have got to stop having one night stands!
And finally, there's Bash.
I almost came really close to caring about the Dark Man, aka a heart-stealing serial killer no one can identify or catch.
I'm not entirely convinced that Delphine doesn't know something more about the Dark Man. But then again, there was something about their encounter which seemed to scare him away from her, so maybe she really is on the right side of this thing.
Bash has a thing about falling for women who need to be saved somehow. Delphine's no different. And Bash is one unlucky bastard, so something tells me Delphine's dying soon.
What did you think of "The Hound and the Hare"? What will Catherine and Mary do now that the prince of Spain is dead? Will Greer really raise her baby in a brothel? Sound off in the comments below and don't forget that you can watch Reign online until the series returns in January.
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.