Nobody handles grief in the same way, and on Halt and Catch Fire Season 4 Episode 8 it was manifesting itself in some interesting ways.
Unfortunately, if anyone else had passed, Gordon would have been their person to lean on, but as their rock disappeared, it made the struggle to deal in the wake of his loss that much more challenging.
While I'm sure many of us would have welcomed the opportunity to be a part of Gordon's memorial service, not only to pay our respects to the character once more, but to get in another crying jag with the help of a show that can make the most of an emotional moment, there simply wasn't time.
We can imagine how it went, and it was likely similar to everyone's appearance at Gordon's door. It was a lovely service, but we're all doing terrible. Joe didn't need to ask how anyone was to know the answer; he was just being polite.
In fact, the more time the survivors spent together, the harder it seemed to get. There are so many beautiful memories of Gordon they's simply overwhelming.
Could the same have been said of anybody else if they'd have died? Probably not. The relationship Donna, Joe, Cameron, Boz, Katie, and Gordon's kids had with him was each so unique and delightful in its own way they didn't know how share their loss.
There are both good and bad experiences coming as a result of Gordon's death, as well. I thought it might be inevitable that the magnitude of the loss could drive Donna and Cameron to their senses. In a way, it has.
Donna: I finished the game.
Cam: What game?
Donna: The game. Your game. Pilgram.
Cam: Of course you did. I made it for people like you.
Not only did it give Donna the opportunity to share with Cameron she'd finished Pilgrim, but they also bonded over their lost friendship with Gordon.
Donna: I miss him.
Cameron: So do I.
Donna: I miss you, too.
Cameron: I'm here.
And it was through their discussion that what's been going on in the wake of Gordon's death between Cameron and Joe has come to light.
Donna is right that her girls light up when Joe is in the room. They've connected with him, and Joe enjoys the connection. It reinforces how much he wants to become a father. And his behavior with the girls reinforces how much Cameron doesn't want to be a mother even if the ending of her game led to a child.
Some women have always wanted families, others have not.
So when they need each other the most, Cameron and Joe are at an impasse in their relationship. They aren't comforting one another as they should.
That's also likely why Joe fell so far down the rabbit hole when he was unable to retrieve for Haley Gordon's sweater he inadvertently donated to Goodwill.
During Halt and Catch Fire Season 4, Joe has been happier than he's ever been. With a successful company working with one of his favorite people, and in a relationship with his other favorite person, what could go wrong?
For Joe, it all went wrong. His love doesn't share the same goals and his best friend and business partner died. The girl he loves like his own only wanted one thing. She wanted her dad's green sweater. In a daring Goodwill heist, Joe pulled out a bag of women's summer dresses.
While he and Haley had a good laugh over it, that laughter soon turned to distress and the distress to darkness.
I can't imagine he'll go into the end of the series allowing that baggage to claim him when he knows how much it meant to Gordon to have his healthy friend in his life. Katie's conversation with Cam, however short, might be Joe's saving grace.
When Cam and Joe go their separate ways, hopefully she'll impart to him the importance of keeping Gordon alive through Comet and for Haley, with whom he has such a lovely relationship.
Donna is going to need help with Joanie and Haley. Discovering Joanie didn't have the faith in herself to send off college applications was disheartening. She could have set her sites on some colleges a little less prestigious.
She might have been accepted for summer session and a major nobody wanted like so many of my friends did. No freshman knows what major they want anyway. Cameron was right about why you go to college. It's to experience your independence for the first time without fully cutting the ties from your parents.
It was sweet when the sisters wrapped up in each others arms, but that relationship won't last much longer as they grow up and go their separate ways.
Gordon always managed to find a way to deal his stress. Seeing Gordon again, especially in all his sideburned glory, was hard so early after his death. But no matter what got him down, he always found a way to get himself out of his funk.
Gordon was dependable from the very early moments of his marriage to Donna and likely from the very early moments of his life.
It's my hope that in the finale, we'll discover what everyone learned from having had so many loving experiences with Gordon in their own lives.
If you watch Halt and Catch Fire online, you know that's one of the possibilities of how this will all end. What are the others? I'm willing to wait and see. I hate that this is ending, but it's one of the most worthwhile 40 episodes of television I've ever watched.
I'll see you all one more time.
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Broadcast Television Journalists Association (BTJA), enjoys mentoring writers, wine, and passionately discussing the nuances of television. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.